Rubber

Oh thank goodness for STARZ indieplex!  I was able to record and watch Rubber last weekend.  This flummox was about a car tire that comes to life and reeks havoc on a desert town.  That's right folks, a CAR TIRE has psychic powers and is able to explode people's heads.  It was full of life's little trials and tribulations.  You know, "It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day."  Sorry, just wanted to throw in a little Leslie Neilson for my personal enjoyment.  Back to the story.  He comes to life and doesn't know why but he has to manage around trash, highways, hotels and ofcourse ladies.  He falls in love with a beautiful brunette that does not return the feeling.  Oh what is a tire to do?  Kill people ofcourse and did I mention that he enjoys watching t.v.  All in all this movie was enertaining if you can handle to premise (it's meant to be humorous).  I would suggest it to all my Indie film lovers out there.

Troll Hunter

Well I have gotten a little behind in my blog but let's be serious, who is surprised about that?  Don't worry I have been watching crummy movies I just haven't been on the computer lately.  Last week I managed to watch the infamous Troll Hunter.  A Norwegian film in subtitles no less.  It was actually pretty great!  The plot: College film students investigate a bear attack (because that's what film students do) and discover a man who hunts trolls.  Apparently the Norway government knows about trolls and have ex military men hunt them.  The clips of the trolls were fantabulous!  The movie was a cross between a less nauseating Blair Witch and a low budget Lord of the Rings.  I give this movie two foreign thumb's up.  I mean you have to read subtitles but at least you get to watch trolls. 

Home front news: just when I thought I was channeling the Mockingjay and inspiring a rebellion with our friends, my dear husband and Borris, the key player in my rebellion, are planning an outing to go to a gunshow for the majority of a Sunday.  I mean not only are you leaving the fam when our time is so limited, you're leaving the fam for a GUNSHOW!  Not the good kinda gunshow either, feel free to laugh and imagine Matthew McConaughey here.  It's the kind of show where you think to yourself, "Self, why am I here watching a bunch of goobers discussing the best type of Glock to buy in case I have to take someone out."  Seriously?!?  To each their own I suppose.  I shouldn't say anything I am currently watching, Ghoul, which I recorded off the Chiller channel.  I just witnessed two love birds get killed by a ghoul and a bunch of vines but at least I am watching my crummy movie late at night after P has gone to bed but I digress.  It seems I am back to the drawing board and the rebellion is back on!  To quote the wise words of Mike Corleone, "Just when I thought I was out ... they pull me back in."  Translation, just when I thought I made progress ... he goes back to his old ways.  I must now devote my time to Ghoul so I can report on it later.  Over and out!

Sucker Punch

Bad movie Monday was Sucker Punch!  Besides it having a good soundtrack and pretty cool graphics the deep meaning was lost on me.  I realize she is releasing her pain by escaping to other realities and there for obtaining freedom but I kept finding myself saying, "Whooooo cares!"  I did enjoy the Nazi zombies, dragons, etc. but Scott Glenn's face was no doubt the scariest part.  Eek!  It almost scared me to death. 

No changes on the home rebellion front.  Husband has been quite pleasant this week.  I think he read my blog and got scared.  Or maybe I have been following the wise message of Sucker Punch and escaped into my own reality.  Maybe I had a lobotomy and what I think is real is truly an alternate state.  If that's the case why can't I be a millionaire jet setter?  Just questions to contemplate while enjoying a libation this evening.

Anyway, my evaluation of Sucker Punch is a D-.  I would have given it a C- but the name Sucker Punch bothers me.

Alien Apocalypse

I managed to watch one other crummy movie just under the wire.  This peach was Alien Apocalypse starring the great, fabulous, magnificent Bruce Campbell and Renee O'Connor (Xena's sidekick).  The premise: four astronauts return to Earth after being in space and much to their surprise Earth has been taken over by gigantic praying mantis bugs.  YUCK!  The bugs have enslaved the humans and force them to work in lumber yards (bugs eat wood!  insert giggle here!).  Bruce leds the humans in a rebellion against the sawmill.  They ofcourse defeat them and save the girl.  It ends with them geared up to attack more sawmills and bring down the Capitol!  Just thought I would throw that last part in for all my Hunger Games lovers. 

I am sure everyone is wondering why it took me so long to post but alas life has been imitating art.  How can I relate my life to Alien Apocalypse?  I ofcourse would be the snarky and attractive Bruce Campbell trying to save my life aka: sanity from the bugs which would be played by my darling husband.  Here is my qoute comparison of Bruce and I, my life in bold.

Bruce Campbell / Dr. Ivan Hood: You know, there were so many things in this world (pre toddler) that I always took for granted and now that they're gone, Ooph! I miss'em!
Friend: Like what?
Bruce Campbell / Dr. Ivan Hood: Well like they had these restaurants. People called them 'Greasy Spoons' (any bar or On the Border) and you could go in there and get eggs, toast, hash browns, and coffee for nine ninety nine (beveridges or Southwest Chicken Tacos), and the waitress would come around FOUR times and ask you if everything was alright, and then forget to give you coffee (beer or soda). And uh, scanning up and down the radio dial lookin' for a good song and only finding ones that you don't like, y'know. And, like, BASKETBALL!... (I have no comparison) even though my team never won and we never got into the playoffs. And crappy TV shows (Alien Apocalypse on SyFy)... I dunno.
Now you ask me, why is your darling husband the bug?  I answer this question with brief synopsis of one of our many conversations today. 
     Me: I need you to watch P while I go to hospital to see my Grandmother.
     Husband: I thought it wasn't serious I wanted to go to the driving range. 
     Me: I can't repeat what went through my head but needless to say he stayed home with P while I went.

He is now at the driving range while I type about him.  I feel I must overthrow his regime (him getting his way all the time) and bring in a new reign of terror (Me).  This week I plan strategy for my rebellion.  I feel I will have to build up my numbers. This will have to start with our good friends (Boris and Natasha, you know who you are) joining my side.  Unfortunately my man is hitting balls with Boris now.  Hmm?!?  What is a rebel leader to do?  Well Bruce rallied his troops with stupity (I've got plenty of that) and sarcasm (no problemo here).  I feel I have these qualities of a leader.  I will silently but diligently continue to plan my coup and let you know of the progress.  Final thought:  What would the Mockingjay do?