Season of the Witch

Oh dear sister I blame this one on you.   Why oh why did you suggest this one?   More importantly why oh why did I watch the whole thing?   It goes against my code of staying away from mainstream action movies but I always get sucked into that fantasy crap.   I just can't stay away from it, my inner Dragonslayer always calls to me.  

On the pro side it had good scenery, a pustule ridden Christopher Lee and my favorite line, "Looked like someone pissed in his holy water".   On the con side it pretty much stunk. It was full of slow motion battle scenes, people being killed by a slight hit of the sword, terrible one liners (mostly from Ron Pearlman) and worst of all Nic Cage with a full head of hair. Why do you insist on wearing a hair piece?   We all know you are old and bald just accept it and move on like Bruce Willis did.  Also, one of my biggest pet peeves is the multiple accents in one movie.  This one had a range from British, Irish, Eastern European and ofcourse American.  I mean if you want me to believe that the Devil is trying to kill mankind with the plague and destroy a holy book then at least use one maybe two accents.  This movie had a 40 million dollar price tag but only brought in 25 million.   Big surprise.   I'm sure if I was thirteen I would of loved it.   If it was made as a B movie I would have loved it but in this form it is unlovable.   As my sister said this movie made Drive Angry an Oscar winner and I have to agree.  Ron Pearlman please stick to Hellboy, that role was meant for you.

Well summer is about to start so I will be more diligent about crappy movie blogging.   Until then I leave you with my other favorite quote from Season of the Witch:

Behman: We've been walking all day and haven't passed a soul. (Nic Cage)
Felson: Keep your souls, let me find a chicken. (Ron Pearlman)