Snow White and the Huntsman / Hercules

 

I know what you guys are thinking, well maybe except my one Twilight fan friend, why in the heckola did you willingly watch a movie with Kristen Stewart.  Well the answer,  as seen above, is Thor!!!  What a hottie!  The movie actually wasn't that bad.  It had a cool story, neato nature and funny dwarves.  But most importantly minimal talking by Kristen plus Charlize Theron was one hardcore witch.  I don't really have anything else to say about this movie but wait till it comes out on cable and definitely record it.

I am going to also discuss Hercules on this post. I have become readdicted to the 90's t.v. show. It comes on the HUB every night and I can't stop watching it. Is it because it's cheesy? Definitely! Is it because I find Kevin Sorbo hot? Mostly! Although he is a terrible actor I loved him in Hercules and Kull the Conqueror. Interestingly enough I only like him when he is playing a mythological character or a Vikingesck warrior. One question I have always wondered is why Hera's eye are always portrayed with a peacock feather?. I guess I should google it.


Also, for all my coworkers out there I am going to start practicing my Xena fight sounds so you better brace yourself.  I am going to try and find a way to have my own personal soundtrack at work too.  Hopefully it will be Xena chanting.  I am going to put my illustrious leader in charge of that task, you know who you are, Clue fan!

Camp Hell

Oh my goodness when I saw this coming on cable my heart skipped a beat.  The title alone got my blood pumping and then upon further investigation I discovered it stars Bruce Davison, of Coffin fame or maybe you remember him in X-Men, and wait for it ... Andrew McCarthy!  I have loved him ever since Mannequin and ofcourse the Academy Award winner Weekend at Bernies (just thinking about that movie makes me want to watch it again and maybe the 2nd one too).  But once I saw his name I was sold and I was only slightly disappointed.  It was pretty boring and Andrew wasn't in much of it but it had a nice creepy ending.

The premise is a demon terrorizing a Catholic Church Camp.  In my book you cant go wrong with a plot like that.  Why was a demon bothering these peeps you ask?  SINNING, SINNING, SINNING!!!  The priest kept warning the boys of the devil females and their cunning ways but the guys just couldn't help themselves.  It was the classic Garden of Eden story till the main kid gets caught in flagrante delicto (only 2 people will get that reference) with a girl.  Then the poo hits the fan.  He starts seeing a demon, blood flows everywhere, you can imagine the havoc.  I'll let you watch it for yourself so I won't ruin the ending.  But here is my spoiler alert it's 1 hour and 45 minutes but it felt like 3.

On a sidebar Jesse Eisenberg made a cameo in the movie.  He was a former camp goer gone insane by the demon.  I wonder how much he got paid for that or if he was doing it for a friend, it was made after Zombieland and the Social Network.

The Change-Up

I know it has been a very long time since I posted but alas what can I say, "I'm very lazy".  No worries though I have been watching a plethora of crummy and non crummy movies.  I will try to blog several times in the next couple of days to discuss the crapola and gems of films I have watched.  So here we go.

In the spirit of going outside the horror movie box I watched The Change-Up with my darling hubby.  I had high expectations only because I love Justin Bateman but alas the movie stunk. It stunk big time!  It suffered from the tragic over cussing and grossness that characterizes most comedies these days.  Don't get me wrong I love a good fart joke as much as the next humorous person but I don't need to hear the "F" bomb every other word to be entertained.  I'm just your normal everyday girl that wants a good old fashioned bizarro or smartalec comedy.  I miss the days of Mel Brooks and the Golden Girls.  I know, not a movie put they deserved a shout out.  Sorry for my rant, back to this turd of a movie.

The premise is a Freaky Friday scenario but between a single jerk and a husband/dad jerk.  I had a hard time sympathizing with either character since they were both selfish, whiney idiots.  Single guy, "nobody loves me and my Dad thinks I'm a loser", FYI, you are a loser.  Married guy, "my life is so hard I have too much responsibility", FYI, who cares.   I pretty much summed up the entire movie for you and I am sure you can figure out what happens.  They both realize what they have and improve their lives, barf!  The only surprising part of the movie was the amount of nudity by Leslie Mann.  If you're going to get naked what a waste of movie to do it for.  At least pretend you're doing it for artsy fartsy purposes.  People ask me "why don't you watch mainstream comedies?"  My answer, "The Change-Up!"